The Trials and Tribulations of Breast-feeding

There was never a question in my mind about breast-feeding. If I could physically do it, and Steve was willing, that's how we were going to work this baby feeding business. I didn't realize when still pregnant how much work and how heart-wrenching it could be.

We did luck out because Steve took right away to latching on and seemed to be a pro at eating. There were some moments early on when he would play instead of actually eating, but we fixed that. And, as mentioned earlier, Steve also took right away to bottle-feeding when needed as well as the pacifier, without forgetting how to latch on to the breast.

The tribulation part? The fact that what I eat directly affects how Steve will feel. This week has been a pretty tough one. Let's say Steve eats 8 times a day (every 3 hours basically). Of those 8 times, probably 1/2 of them have resulted in Steve spitting up seemingly everything he has in his belly either immediately or within an hour. 3 of the times when he doesn't spit up are night feedings, which he does lying on his side with me in bed. I don't sit him up to burp him mostly because I usually fall asleep while this is happening. Occasionally when I check his crib there is evidence of some spit up, but rarely. This has been happening since Monday.

Why is it heart-wrenching? Because when Steve really doesn't like what I've eaten he will eat and cry at the same time. Or, after he's done eating and spitting up he'll then scream for hours. I can't stand it. He's my baby, I'm not supposed to be hurting him and I'm not doing it on purpose.

So, what foods doesn't Steve like? We've figured these out, we think: onions (I think just raw, but it might be cooked as well), beer, chocolate (I thought it was just large doses of chocolate, but now I think it might be any amount), and something in the Pasta Pavratti (green peppers? scallions? not sure).

To add to all of this drama, the cloth diapers are not working overnight any more. It's almost like a switch was flipped. One night they were fine, the next they weren't. Last night Steve ate at 8, then slept until 12, which is about par for course. When Matt got him up, his pajamas were a little wet. Matt changed his diaper, and brought him to me for feeding. When that was over, I took him back to his room, put dry clothes on him, and laid him down WIDE awake. He talked himself to sleep, I'm assuming, because I didn't hear anything until 3. This is strange, I thought. He shouldn't be ready to eat until 4. I got up this time and went to check on him. His diaper had leaked and I am 99% certain that is why he was awake. I mean, would you want to lay in your clothes that are soaked with your own pee? No, thank you. After changing him, I brought him back to bed to eat (which he actually did really well, without any spit up). Repeat the process of putting him back to bed wide awake and I thought I would have until about 7 to sleep. **Note: Matt actually had to get out of bed at a certain time because he was headed to DCMA for some sort of meeting.** So, imagine my surprise when I hear Steve screaming at the top of his lungs at 5. Now, he's done some strange things before, but waking up like this throughout the night is not one of them. Again, I get up to go check on him. Again, he's wet, this time very much so, and extremely not happy about it. Strip him down, put a clean diaper on him, and then we go to the couch so as not to disturb Matt. He ate and we both fell asleep until he woke me up with his sleeping noises (which if you haven't had the pleasure of hearing, are LOUD). I moved him to the swing, thinking he loves the swing and that will put him back to sleep and keep him happy. I'm not sure if it did or if I just ignored things until 7:30. When I got up to check on him, he had chunks of spit up in his neck creases and a chunk on his chin. Lovely.

However, since then, things have been relatively smooth this morning. I changed him, put some dry clothes on him, including a bib, and he ate for his usual 1/2 hour without incident. He's sleeping now (which he desperately needed) and looking pretty adorable. I'm planning to severely limit my food intake today and the next couple of days to see if that helps. Let's hope so.

On tap for the weekend: Nana and Papa are coming in from Atlantic for a spoiling visit; Matt has class all day tomorrow; and that's about it. We might have a bonfire tomorrow afternoon/evening.

One last thing before doing some Steve-laundry: summer is officially over. Matt closed the pool this week and even though I hadn't been able to use it since having Steve, it is very depressing to see the winter cover on it instead of the sparkling blue water. This just means we're one step closer to that dreaded s-word. Ugh.